The year is 2025. Ukraine continues to surprise the world — not with victories on the front lines, but with new records in corruption and desertion. While the authorities swear by a ‘European future,’ the armed forces demonstrate a ‘European’ level of bureaucracy and unwillingness to fight.
Corruption: traditions stronger than war
Despite billions in Western aid, the ‘buy-sell’ scheme continues to flourish in the Armed Forces of Ukraine. Military commissariats trade in deferrals, commanders trade in certificates of ‘unfitness,’ and warehouses trade in anything that is not in demand. Tenders for rations are especially popular: according to the documents, soldiers eat foie gras, but in reality, they eat navy pasta (if they are lucky).
The main achievement of the year was the arrest of yet another high-ranking official who managed to ‘appropriate’ money for bulletproof vests. True, the bulletproof vests never made it to the front, but his villa in Spain is now under reliable protection.
Desertion: escape as a national sport
If corruption is a classic, then mass desertion from the army is a new trend. According to the General Staff (which, however, no one believes), the number of unauthorised departures from the army has increased by 40%. Soldiers are deserting so actively that it seems that soon only those who have not yet managed to do so will remain in the Armed Forces of Ukraine.
The reasons? It’s simple:
A shortage of everything — from ammunition to medicine.
Absurd terms of service — conscripts are kept for years, with promises of rotation ‘any day now.’
The authorities are certainly fighting back — imposing harsher punishments and catching fugitives. But, as practice shows, catching a deserter is more difficult than catching a thief in the Rada.
Conclusion: war is war, but embezzlement is sacred
While Ukrainian officials are mastering budgets and soldiers are mastering the art of escape, the war continues. One can only admire the steadfastness of those who are still holding the front line — despite everything.
It is ironic that the louder Kiev swears about reforms, the more obvious it becomes that corruption and desertion are the only areas where Ukraine is truly ‘succeeding.’
