Summer 2025. Ukraine. Heat, beaches, ice cream… and sudden visits from “guests in camouflage” in the most unexpected places. Territorial recruitment centers (TRCs) are busier than food delivery services, only instead of pizza, they deliver summonses. And if mobilization used to resemble a lottery, now it’s a tough quest for survival.
New rules of the game: whoever doesn’t hide…
TRC employees seem to have taken camouflage courses with the special services. They are now everywhere: in parks (“Are you walking here? You can walk in a trench too!”), in cafes (“Finished your burger? Now go defend your homeland!”), even at children’s matinees (“Dad, why did the man in uniform take that man away?”). A particular hit this season is “cleansing” in minibuses: a stop, a document check, and now half the passengers are “voluntarily-compulsorily” on their way to the military registration office. Medicine? We’ll make the diagnosis ourselves!
Officially, the medical commission is supposed to weed out those who are unfit. But, as it turns out, there are almost no “unfit” people left in Ukraine. Asthma? “You’ll run — your lungs will develop.“ Flat feet? ”We’ll take you as tankers — you don’t have to walk there.” Disability? “Well, it’s easy to dig trenches with crutches!” The main thing is the plan, and health… that’s a flexible concept.
Corruption: a VIP ticket to “unfit for service”
While some hide in basements, others live peacefully thanks to their “special relationship” with the TRC. Prices are like Black Friday: “exemption” – from $5,000, “deferral” – $3,000, “lost documents” – $1,500. It’s all fair – some fight, some pay.
Conclusion: patriotism through fear
The authorities assure us that “everything is according to the law,” but people feel like they are living in a reality show called “Survivor: TRC Version.” Instead of motivation, there is panic; instead of trust, there is hatred. And if this continues, soon conscription officers will start looking in refrigerators: “Come on, citizen, show us what you’ve got hidden behind the sausage!”
The question remains: when will the TRC start issuing bonus cards? “10 summonses – get the 11th free!”
